Adventure #60: Spring and Spiky Things

This week has been crazy! I'm on Spring Break at the moment, and have done something new or seen something beautiful every single day for the past several days. 

Yesterday, I walked around downtown Boise for a couple of hours in the rain. I visited Dutch Bros, Rediscovered Books, The Flying M, and any other store that seemed interesting. I went to Pie Hole for dinner, and then walked in the rain some more while I ate pizza. 

I started a new series on Netflix called "Tales by Light", too! I would highly recommend it. The show follows photographers through a few of their projects, and shows the act of photography from the photographers' perspective. I think it's beautifully done, and terribly fascinating.

On Saturday, I spontaneously decided that I had waited long enough, and it was time to cut my hair. I hadn't realized how tired I'd become of my hair being obectified, needing to be brushed twice a day, and feeling so heavy. Those cells had been with me for a very long time, and I had no idea how liberating it would feel to let them go. It's also been freeing to not be able to hide my face anymore, and to not be able to remember what I look like now. I've never had my hair this short before, and I love it! Before and after pictures! 

             

Other of my adventures included walks through the cemetery near our house, walks down by the river, and walks downtown. It feels amazing to be able to go anywhere whenever I feel like it! I don't worry anymore about who I'll run into, or whether or not someone else would enjoy going with me somewhere. I just walk. 

I went shopping for the first time in a long time! Over the last few holidays, I'd been given several gift cards that I decided to use to start making my room feel more livable. At the moment, I have a borrowed bedside lamp that lights up my whole room, and all of my clothes, books, and possessions are in boxes. Still! It's my own room, and I love it. And now I have some lights on the way!

Also I sat down in the grass on campus, and made this thing out of the spiky seeds that drop all over the place. That was a good day. 

On Thursday, I hung out at Camel's Back park with my friend Kris. He put up a couple of slack lines and both showed me up and got me addicted. It's so difficult! We also met Lola, who is the happiest dog I think I have ever met, as I made clear in my snapchat of said happy dog. Then we got Mexican food, walked around another park, and stared up at the clouds for a very long time.

I finally wrote a resume, too! I had been very afraid to in the past, so I'm grateful that I was able to get started on it finally. We'll see how that goes!

I also have gone to coffee with a few friends recently. I met up with my new friend Veronica and we had wonderful conversations about life. I met with my friend Rachel today, and we also had great conversations about life, and laughed at her baby's cute faces! She is incredibly adorable, and lucky to have such a great momma. I've taken myself out for coffee a few times now, and have gotten back into reading, finally! I started "Between the World and Me", and while it's a difficult emotional read, it is incredibly important. I'm very glad to be reading it.

Wow okay, that was a lot. It's been a busy week! Thank you for reading, and I look forward to writing more now, as my adventures seem to be more frequent with the coming of Spring and my newfound determination to remind myself of my freedom. Happy first-day-of-Spring to you, and I hope the sun and rain bring more adventures for you, as well! ^_^ <3

Adventure #54: College Campesino - Toast Post!

Hi! I'm kind of in college now! I haven't posted in a while because the transition was pretty strange, and I haven't had much time to myself for the last couple of weeks. But here I am! And I have stories!

The first is about toast.

In the dorm where I'm living at the moment, we do not have a toaster. So I had the grand opportunity to educate my roommates about the wonders of alternatively toasted breads.

First, the pan fried bread: We also do not have a microwave yet. I softened butter in the oven so as to make it more amenable to being spread, and that was almost disastrous for sure. But most of the butter was salvaged, bread was much too slowly toasted in a pan, and fun was had by all. Actually I kept accidentally slamming the oven door shut because the spring on it is very effective, and that was terrifying.

But toast! I did it! Kolby was brave and had a bite. He agreed the pan-fried bread/ toast/ whatever Derek said it should be called is better than the average toast.

Second, the oven toast: This is my favorite kind of toast, and my second favorite comfort food. My momma taught me to make toast like this, and I would eat at least 4 pieces of it in one sitting whenever we would make it together. For this particular bit of toastiness, I butter one side of the bread, sprinkle a good amount of cinnamon and sugar on top of the butter, and place the bread with sugar side up in the oven, and set it to broil. Then the sugar and cinnamon caramelize on top, the butter sinks down in the bread a little and softens it, and then the sugar and cinnamon create like a little barrier, so the bread steams underneath and gets so fluffy and soft. It's the best!

This time I made pieces for both Kolby and I, and he said it was great toast :D

Success!

Adventure #53: The Women's March

Yesterday, I attended the Women's March in Boise. The women from my class attended, my family sent good thoughts and lots of encouragement my way, and I was able to go with a couple of my favorite people! In the picture, they are my friend Aidan and his two brothers (their very kind father took the picture), and my friend Kolby! It was an amazing feeling to be personally supported by some of the men in my life, including my own father who was so excited for me and wanted to hear all about the march. It was also a great feeling to know that these men are standing up for all other women in their lives and across the globe, through such a simple act of perfect unity. 

The media coverage of the marches was so uplifting, too! My favorite piece is this article from Slate which captures the strength, optimism, and determination that every one of us shared in. An estimated 2.9 million people marched yesterday in support of women and in opposition to injustice, with a powerful voice. I am truly grateful to everyone who participated. I stood by you, and you stood by me that day... It was an honor, and I choose to stand with you always.

Adventure #42: Apartment Hunting

For the first time ever, I will be looking for a place to live on my own! It's pretty scary, I must admit. My two best options that I can afford are both an option for a lease takeover, and I don't know all of what that means... And I don't have a job yet. The vehicle that we have for me to drive isn't running yet, so I haven't had a chance to get into Boise to pick up and drop off applications. But! It will all work out somehow, I'm sure. 

So tomorrow, I will be checking out an apartment that's only a half a mile from BSU! And it's in my price range! Craziness. Hopefully I will hear back from my other two options soon, and I'll check those out once I do. 

Aaaaagh this is so exciting! :D

They finally are able to process my application for school now, too. This whole process has been a huge test of my faith and optimism... I have had to catch myself several times now talking myself into worries and fears. It has not been easy, but I'm so glad that I'm finally doing this. I'm so ready, and I don't really care if it's scary cause it's gonna get done. So there. 

In other good news, my step mom and I had a really good day together. We were able to talk for quite a while about possible living situations for me, the divine feminine archetype, and a bunch of other fascinating things. It was really nice... She also told me about a moment recently where she and I had been arguing, and just all of a sudden she didn't see me as just her daughter anymore... She saw me as the strong and powerful woman that I'm becoming. That meant a lot to me that she can see that in me, and that she would be willing to tell me so plainly that she really does... I am grateful. 

And to the best goober ever: I miss you so much. Thank you for being you <3

Adventure #36: Foods of Late

Hey! Still alive. Been busy, gotten good at making excuses for not blogging. Recently rediscovered (again) my motivations for doing this. So, here I am!

So much has been changing in my life lately as I'm entering a new phase of things. I'm super excited about it, and in general the difference will be that I'm finally ready to start the work I've been preparing for in these past several months. But, more on that idea and those events later.

Tonight, I want to just talk about my food adventures of late! In the past few weeks, I have been exposed to many new foods. Food is one of the hobbies of the family that I'm living with, so it's been a staple of this transition. Without further ado, this non-glorious list of foods and restaurants I have newly experienced.

Places:
Taco John's
Del Taco
a Chinese food place where I never checked the name
Sherri's
Main Street Burger
Black Bear Diner
The Coffee Cup Cafe
Fiesta Guadalajara

Other Foods:
Jackfruit (smells like mangos and Kraft cheese)
Buffalo tripe (at Standing rock)
Fresh fry bread
Ben and Jerry's (like 3 flavors and I can't remember any of their names)
Corned beef hash

Yep so there's that. I don't know, I've enjoyed the experience, but I think I more just enjoy sharing a meal with people. That's been the best part of trying these new foods and restaurants. It's good for me to broaden my tastes, and I'm grateful I've been granted the opportunity, but I'm even more grateful to have gotten to share those experiences with other people.

More tomorrow. I hope you have a great rest of your night ^.^

Adventure #34: Miscellaneous Adventures

I learned what a persimmon is yesterday. They look like tomatoes, and taste like nothing if they are not ripe.

My Spotify Discover Weekly playlist is amazing this week, too. There hasn't been a single song that I've skipped or not decided to listen to again. I am very impressed.

I also had a friend send me a bunch of indie electronica that I also loved. Good stuff. Also.

I read an article last night about the difficulties in learning to model the motion of a pendulum. At midnight... I am a big nerd.

Hmmm second Etsy sale in progress! The woman wanted six pieces, but I told her since I'm leaving for Standing Rock soon and I didn't know if the longer poems would fit on the size of paper she wanted, I'm doing three of them for her for now.

I also discovered this morning (I had my suspicions) that every ten characters on the typewriter is equivalent to an inch. Whoever made these things put so much effort into the design, these are seriously the coolest little machines ever.

Christopher Latham Sholes, Frank Haven Hall, Carlos Glidden and Samuel W. Soule.
They invented the typewriter.

Adventure #32: BSU Game!

I went to my first college football game last night! BYU @ BSU.  It was a super close game, very exciting, very scary. I had a lot of fun! I used to be a really big football fan. It was one of the only things that my step-dad and I shared. He taught me all about it, helped me keep up with our teams, and I watched almost every game with him that I could. He and I don't talk anymore, but my love of football remains. It was really cool to go and be able to enjoy the tension, the excitement, and the cold.

PC: Cassie T

But the night was not without hiccups, as other emotionally relevant events occurred. I missed almost the entire third quarter because I was on the phone with my friend Drita, really trying to figure some things out... I cried the whole time... A lot of people stopped to make sure I was okay, and that actually helped a lot to be reminded of all the caring people in the world who are willing to set aside time to stand in kindness. I really needed that... I also noticed that there were no females who talked to me or made sure I was okay in those moments, and that sucked, only because I would have thought that the relationship between women in general was stronger than that... In light of that observation, I plan to be the demonstration of a caring woman whenever I see another in a situation like that.

So, I am feeling a bit better now, and I'm so glad that I was able to rediscover my love of football, be reminded of kindness in the world, be shown how I can help to empower other women who are suffering, and be able to spend the night talking with people who care about me.

Adventure #31: Five Star Etsy Seller!

My first Etsy product arrived today at my customer's house, and she said she loves it! She says it's perfect and I was so awesome in communicating with her and stuff. And then she left me a five star review! Definitely made me feel good ^.^

The quote she wanted is one of my favorites:

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there." - Rumi

I learned a few new Etsy things from this, too. Like that I can make a custom listing in the messages people send me (might charge me for the listing, but I'm not sure...). Or, I can have them purchase the 'custom item' listing, and then all of the reviews will show up together on that product when other people want to purchase something! So that's actually really exciting to me because I need all the help I can get with this thing.

Anyway, so yay! Happy people ^.^

Adventure #20: Maybe Moved In, Learning to Move On

Hey! I've moved! I'm now living in Meridian, ID with some close family friends. It's not as big of a leap that I'd hoped for, but it's a step in the right direction, I believe. It's kind of a trial period for now, where they're letting me stay here for a little while until I'm sure this will work for me, and if it does, then I might stay. And I definitely cried a lot while I was on the phone with my Dad last night... I miss him so much already...

This time in my life has been so huge in terms of transition. One of my sets of parents got a divorce this summer, all of my friends started college, I graduated, I moved out (maybe), I started a blog, started an Etsy store, I'm writing a novel, my relationship with my best friend and boyfriend of many years has been changing in many ways, and I'm still working on going to Germany soon. It's been amazing to have this blog, too, and to reflect and appreciate all that's been going on in my life. I don't know that I would have appreciated it all quite so completely if I hadn't been sharing it along the way. So I'm very glad that I have had this opportunity, and I hope that it's been valuable to some of you in any way, too!

All of these transitions mean this has been one of the most powerful times in my life, and also the most difficult. I don't know that I have ever felt so much uncertainty so often. I'm learning so much about myself, and while there have been a lot of tears, there also is a great new sense of awareness forming. I'm excited, terrified, sad, confused, and content all at once, almost all the time, lately. But in the deepest part of me, no matter how much turmoil I feel around me, I am becoming still and quiet, for the first time.

To all of you and any of you who read this, thank you for being a part of my journey. <3

Adventure #18: A Normal Day of Little Adventures

It's today!

I started decoratin my staff today. I honestly don't remember if I mentioned it before, but I made a staff. Now I'm decorating it. Honestly I think it looks super freaking cool, too. Will post pictures tomorrow(?) when I'm finished. It's an adventure because I've never decorated or even made a staff before, and I've never drawn anything like this, especially not on a staff. So, an art adventure! We'll see how it goes :)

I also wrote a lot today. Some really cool ideas and thoughts that I think I will start to share on here as they continue to form. It will help me to explain them to someone other than myself, as it'll mean I will have to solidify my thoughts in order to convey them with any semblance of clarity. So look forward to THAT!

Another everyday adventure today: I took a break from my phone. I checked it a few times, but didn't keep it on me all day, and actually stopped worrying about it after a few mental slaps on the wrist. I only used 10% of my battery life, so I'm pretty proud of that xD And it felt good! It was hard because I'm still letting go of something, but I feel much better about it after a day of practicing being okay.

In other news, I promised myself today that I would quit dismissing something that I just said out of worry that nobody cared. I cared, so I said it, and that's ok!

As always, thanks for the read, and I hope you had a day of little adventures, as well <3

Adventure #16: A Weeks Worth of Adventures

Okay! Commitment time. I haven't been posting every day... I promised myself that I would, and now it's time to make good on my word. I'm committing again to post every day because not every post needs to be fantastic and have pictures, I just need to be furthering my perspective and embracing living my everyday life passionately from wherever I am.

So to kick off this renewed pledge, a summary of recent and tiny adventures!

Let's see. I made muffins today. My step-mom buys boxed muffins mixes and then since the mixes are in the house and they aren't used very often, sometimes I get on a roll and use them all up! So the mix was for almond poppyseed muffins, but my dad and I prefer the lemon ones. So I mixed in lemon zest and lemon juice, and I think they're way better that way xD

I tried a new lotion. Fascinating. One of my friends had given me some samples, and so I went with it. One of them was not a face lotion, and my skin is currently regressing to its stressed out 9th grader state. But! Then the other lotion was definitely a face lotion. It was Juice Beauty, the business started byyyyy what's her name omg I practiced this Gwyneth Paltrow! There we go. It was awesome, too. It smelled so frappin good and made my skin feel all soft and nice. I was surprised, too! After just a few minutes of letting it settle, there was no sheen or anything but it still felt great. So when I become rich, I'll definitely invest in the stuff.

What else what else. Ah! Sleepover with my boyfriend. He and I have been together for the larger part of the last 7 years, and this was the first time we'd gotten to do this. It definitely was an adventure. I am a very warm sleeper, twin bed, and he's 6ft tall, but it actually went quite smoothly (maybe my late night sneezing fit was the exception). It was as cute and cuddly and practical as I could have imagined ^.^

I also have added some new items to my Etsy store! Including a custom listing option since now I have my fancy paper. I'm a mild nerd about paper now, and I like that about myself, so yeah. Here's the link again to my Etsy store cause I have to shamelessly self-advertise: SansPoetry

I'm going to write a novel! I'm doing Nanowrimo this year (the link if you haven't heard of it before), and am currently working on idea planning and stuffs. I'm honestly super excited, and I will most likely post often on the blog about this as it will be an every day thing in November. I'll link to my profile on the website soon, too, so that you can follow me along that way and we can collaborate if you're doing it, too :)

I went to my first women's circle this past weekend! It was amazing, and I really learned so much. The class is called "I am Woman" and it's about understanding and discovering the true feminine nature and how it applies to ourselves. Cool stuff. I might post more in detail about it later, but I'm undecided right now because the nature of the content can be very personal, and I'd like to go all out or not at all instead of trying to censor such important things.

Last update: I might be moving out soon! My friend in Monterey that I was going to stay with is likely moving back home very soon, so that didn't work out, but oh well. A new opportunity has arisen due to the kindness of wonderful people, and it's in the works. Will update.

Okay, cool! I've been up to more things than I thought... Thanks for the read, and peace to you all! <3

Adventure #15: Meditation for Intuition

I have to be honest, this is probably the hardest thing that I've ever done...

I'm a very analytical person. It used to be that I refused to feel certain emotions if I didn't understand why they had arisen. If I was ever unable to make sense of my feelings, I chose not to feel them. I often had trouble ever letting my mind take a break because my self confidence was so wrapped up in my intelligence. I'm a math person, an arguer (arguments don't need to be fights, look it up), and a thinker.

So I always used to joke that I don't actually have intuition. Turns out, that's not quite true... My counselor explained to me the value of intuition and how in can work in cooperation with the analytical mind. I'd never seen a point to getting touch with my intuition because it was rare that my thinking through something didn't lead me anywhere, especially once I'd become more secure in myself and didn't feel stressed all the time.

But, finally ran into something that I couldn't solve or understand from my current perspective, and now I am working on choosing what to do from this thing inside me that knows what's right for me. It's all an exercise in trust and letting go of control and being patient, all things I'd long avoided practicing by approaching everything analytically first.

So I've been meditating every day for 5 days now, usually twice a day. I sit outside on a rug and eat my yogurt and cereal to just kind of sit and get used to being there... I do some yoga for a few minutes to help relax and focus. And then I meditate, and usually it lasts at least an hour which feels good. Yesterday it was almost an hour and a half where I was actually in meditation and it felt really great.

As for the things I've understood so far, there are just a few small pieces of wisdom that have come to my attention and I don't know how they all fit together, yet, but there's been something new everyday and it all feels like progress.

So I've learned that it is kind to surround yourself with others who are kind. Honestly, it seems so simple, but I'd never thought of it. And it makes so much sense! To surround yourself with people who are kind is to understand that you are worthy of kindness, and to understand that acts of kindness feed more acts of kindness. So this applies well to me right now because I'm in the process of defining for myself what it means for me to be kind.

The second awareness that I remember (I should have been writing these down...) was about rejection. It was just some clarity about the forms that rejection can take and what it means for me.

And the third awareness that I can recall was about a fear that I've been struggling with. I'm afraid to do what is right for me out of fear of hurting other people. Through metaphor, I understood it as this: The tree does not stop growing for fear of casting a shadow. That is to say, I don't need to be afraid anymore of hurting others through my own growth. There is light everywhere, and anyone in growth can choose not to stand in my shadow.

Thank you, as always, to anyone who reads these posts. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy writing them. <3

Adventure #12: SansPoetry

SansPoetry is my store! I opened my Etsy store today when my debit card came. (Yes, I know. I paid with cash for everything in high school, I don't know how I made it through.)

So I am officially open for business! I have a few bookmarks listed and am working on listing more. Several are made, I just have to input a lot of information about every item so it takes a while.

I'm also working on getting custom orders up and running, just waiting on some paper samples so that I can use the same kind for the custom orders.

For now, if anybody has any quotes they'd really like to see (either to purchase or just cause someone needs to hear them), share them with me in the comments! :)

To anyone who is interested, here is the link to my store: SansPoetry
And photos of my Royal 10 ca 1924 typewriter!

Sew beautiful ^.^

Adventure #11: The Road Not Taken

I've been wanting to write this post for a while now, but I don't think the time was right until today.

Two of my best friends began college this week, and I've really struggled with a lot of aspects of that all of a sudden...

I was jealous of one of my best friends because she is doing everything that I had planned for myself years ago... Now I'm choosing a different path than what I had planned, and I let my insecurities about my choice get in the way of me being happy for what she is choosing for her life. Luckily, I have some amazing sounding boards in my life who called me on my issues. I wish I had been in a place to be happy for her when she most deserved it...

Then my other best friend and I have been struggling on different levels and at different times with my choosing a different path. College was always something that we had planned to do together, and now I'm lamenting that opportunity lost. This stuff got in my way of being happy for this friend when we both really wanted me to be... My dad put it perfectly, and said that even when we know we have to give something up, often we still need to mourn the loss. I thought, then, that maybe mourning that loss and grieving what was given up is actually how it can be let go... I suppose that process is unfinished thus far as, though I am now able to feel happy for my friends in every way, I am still so sad that we won't get to share this experience with each other, like I always thought we would...

So here I want to be open to mourning this road not taken. I'm still honestly incredibly sad that I'm not going to college with my two best friends. But I am also now in a place to feel honestly happy about my decision to move to Monterey and go to school in Germany. And I can understand that the two emotions can coexist and aren't mutually exclusive.

I just want to say now how I appreciate my friends and all that we've shared. I do hope that there will be many more experiences between us in the future. Thank you to my best friends for helping me in so many ways to reach this point in my life. I hope I have ever done the same for you.

Now we are all on to different, even separate, things. But please know that you will always be in my heart, on my mind, and you hold a piece of my soul. I love you both so much. <3

Adventure #9: Aspiring Freelancer

Today, I finally submitted my first application to write for a website as a freelancer. The website is HelloGiggles and it's a wonderful community of female writers who report on health, feminism, Disney, and their life experiences. It's a website that I've followed for several years, and their pieces are always pertinent, funny, and uplifting.

I'll be so grateful if they want to use my piece, and even more grateful if they hire me as a regular writer! I'll post another update when I hear back.

Wish me luck! ^.^

Adventure #7: A Brief Friendship With an Aphid Who Was an Aphid

Today I'm spending the day in Nederland, CO in order to work on a few projects and have a consistent internet connection for a few hours. So I sat down at the New Moon Bakery and Cafe (the lemon bars are fantastic) and this little guy decided to join me!

He has since disappeared, and if anyone sees him I would really appreciate it if they could return him home. He does not do well without a warm comfy bed and needs daily medicine for his arthritis.

Adventure #3: Yoga with Bitte

It's been a while since I've done yoga, and no excuses, I've just not done it. Today I started to put together my first sequence (it's more complicated than I thought!) and that will be material for a later post, I'm sure. So today I stuck with what I know, and then my puppy joined me! She came in and laid down right on my mat. Usually I would shoo her away and quickly dust off her little pawprints, but I had enough room so I just let her stay for a while. Then I took some pictures because she was being so cute ^.^

          

Adventure #1: The Blog

Here goes! My first blog post ever.

Oh my goodness this is so crazy  what am I doing  why did I think this was a good idea

Okay, those thoughts successfully acknowledged and ignored: Hi! My name is Cora Lee. And I'm planning an adventure that will last for the rest of my life.

I've just graduated high school and have left said institution with a long-indulged fear of making mistakes. This is something I want to unlearn as I teach myself to live. You see, at this point in my life, I'm working to change my perspective and become more open to new experiences, ideas, and even mistakes. So for me, this blog is a tool to help me to practice living with a new perspective.

So here's to: new beginnings, living life, and becoming adventuresome.