I kinda ran away from home for a little bit today. My step mom and I had another hurtful and stupid argument about the dishes. She laughed at what I was saying several times, so I never really felt strong enough to truly explain how I was feeling and why... So that sucked.
I had a really tough morning talking with my best friend about our relationship and where we need to head next, too... I feel okay in the deepest levels of myself, but for many reasons, every other level just wants to cry whenever I think about him... Do prepare yourselves for poetry or the like that is wrought with self-reflection and life-reflection. I think it will be a really powerful tool for me, to keep writing. This blog helps so much, too, because it's like a journal, but someone actually is listening. So to whomever, everyone, and a someone, thank you for listening.
Because of previously described morning, I did the dishes, and I walked over to my Gramma's house. I live out in the middle of nowhere, so I have been more than grateful on many occasions that I have such a wonderful and caring Gramma who has always been willing to step in as a mother figure when I needed one. So she talked with me, gave me hugs, advice, and encouragement. She took me with her to the grocery store because she, more than anyone, understands the need to just move forward physically to help the mind move forward in tandem.
I taught her about leave-in conditioners because she is growing her hair out a little. She likes to french braid it or put it in a short ponytail, and it makes me happy for her because she remains unafraid of change in her life and her person. I helped her pick out a card for the family of a friend of hers who had died. She gave me a few dollars to go buy something to eat because I'd forgotten until I smelled grocery store smells. She bought a pizza for my Grandpa to eat while she and I are away this coming week. And then she drove me home, once I made sure that my dad was home, too.
So, shoutout to one of the best Grammas in the world: I've had a lot of mother figures in my life, and you have been one to me whenever I needed it most. You mean so much to me, and I'm so grateful for what you have taught me through your wise words and shown me through your kind actions. <3